I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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