It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Life is so much better after having sex.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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