So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
