Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
