Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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