how can u be prego again
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize