he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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