You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
