When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
