p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
