If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
