she takes plan B like it's going out of style
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
