fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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