Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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