If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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