They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize