batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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