y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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