If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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