you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
