Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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