Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
