how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
