It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
