I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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