He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I need moral support for this bender
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
