i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
