I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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