You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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