This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
