She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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