i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
