rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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