bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
