Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
