I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
