She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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