I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
