He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
