What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
