i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize