She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
