i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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