How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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