Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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