I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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