I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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