I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
