You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
