In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
