How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
