So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
