i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
