I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
