I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
