someone get that fucking seahorse.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
