Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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