her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
