I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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