I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
