the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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