Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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