I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
