Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
